This is a post I created originally for the Courier Journal and then modified for a Sephora Twilight contest. I just got a notification that I was one of the winners! This is the post that I sent into Sephora...enjoy!
I have been suffering some strange symptoms as of late, and it all began after reading Twilight. I consulted my physician, and he gave me this thoroughly scientific explanation for my disease.
Twilightis: a highly contagious virus contracted through contact with the "Twilight" series by Stephenie Meyer. Anyone is susceptible to this virus, but the strain seems to be especially prevalent among young women, typically among the the teenage set.
Symptoms include: dark circles under the eyes from nights spent flipping one more page after one more page, frequent excursions to a book retailer to fill the void left after completion of one of the novels, obsessive checking of blogs and other web sites devoted to the series, defending to the death one's position on either Team Edward or Team Jacob, difficulty sleeping due to dreams about Edward Cullen, difficulty concentrating in an educational environment due to daydreams about Edward Cullen, difficulty paying attention to living boys due to fantasies about Edward Cullen
Remedies: While a cure is unknown, there are a few suggestions to bring the afflicted back to reality. This includes reading something unromantic and serious, such as a World History textbook. Another option includes finding a dark, damp hole in the farthest corner of the world where there is no such thing as literature, television, or teenagers.